Pretending
by xPoisened-black-Rosesx
Summary: Starfire was always pretending, hiding her anxiety behind that sunny smile she always wore. but she could only ever hide so much...An insight to why Star always smiles and is so happy, and why she uses it to cover her real emotions. Hinted RobxStar.


**Hey guys! New one-shot for you! **

**Each of the time series is different, showing a different time of Starfire's different thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own teen titans, but I DO own the idea of this plot.**

* * *

It was the middle of the night and the titan tower was quiet and serene, the giant 'T' seemed to be a quite haven and only place of security amongst the city filled full of pollution and crime…… An impulsive scream rang throughout the tower. Waking up from her nightmare, the titan jerked up from her bed, clutching her head and gasping for breath, panting and trembling; a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead. She looked around her surrounding and realized where she was; she shut her eyes and took a deep breath. A sudden bang on her door made her jump and grasp her covers in anxiety, staring at her door in terror.

"Starfire?" The voice that came through the door made her sigh with relief. _Robin _she thought - "Starfire? Are you OK? I heard you scream." Starfire got out from bed quickly and paced to the door, resting her head against it, as if she could feel him from behind the solid door that separated them, she took a deep breath and opened her door with a warm smile plastered on her face.

"Friend Robin! Did I awaken you from you slumber? I am most repentant." She gave him an apologetic look.

"Urm, no, actually I was up doing some stuff and I, I heard you scream- Are you alright?" The leader asked with concern written all over his face. Starfire's expression became even more remorseful and had signs that she was slightly scared, she quickly snapped out of it and smiled even more brightly.

"Yes, of course nothing is wrong; I merely had the 'mare of night' as you would call it." She answered compellingly. Robin raised his eyebrows, but he didn't push it.

"Right, Urm, goodnight then."

"Goodnight my friend, you should soon rest as well." Robin nodded and slowly walked away, she waited until he was out of sight before she shut her door and slid down against the cold metal, hugging her knees to her chest. _He doesn't need to know, Friend Robin already has so much on his mind, I don't want him to worry for me nor do I want to burden him. _She sighed and rested her head to her knees.

-Robin-

The boy wonder walked into his room and sat down at his desk, thinking intently; he knew something was up with Star, but it was just like her not to let him worry, even though she said it was merely a nightmare, Robin could tell something was bothering her, the look on her face told him and he desperately wanted to know what was making his best friend so…so not _her, _it was really weird, he fought oozing monsters, evil robots and psycho madmen, but when he heard her scream he thought she was really in trouble, he never been so scared in his life, _Man what's happening?_ He thought.

-In training-

"Man Star those starbolts you shoot are wicked, can all your people do that?" Asked friend Beast-boy one day, she smiled.

"Not all of my people." She answered him, the changeling nodded and continued with what he was doing in training. _No, it is just I and my sister, I only attained these powers when the Gordainians experimented on me._

-Meditating with Raven-

"How is it that you always smile so much?" Asked friend Raven, I smiled.

"Is it not joyous that you are surrounded by such lovely friends who care so much about you?" I replied.

"Yh, but why are you always smiling 24 hours a day, seven days a week?" I giggled.

"Oh friend Raven, you merely have to 'lighten up' as friend Beast-boy would say."

"My emotions have to be controlled…"

"I am thankful." I said truthfully, Raven raised an eyebrow. "That I have such wonderful friends who care so much for each other." It was true, I was truly thankful to X'hal for giving me such wonderful friends. But I know that friend Raven could sense others emotions, and I can't really hide my thoughts and emotions from her but sometimes my heart would be fill full of anger and hate, so much that I could possibly kill the ones who betrayed me and used me for their personal desire, I never realized that I could have such ugly emotions inside of me, that's why I always try and cover up these ugly emotions by filling my mind with happy thoughts, but really, those happy, joyous thoughts were to merely to cover up the pain of my past, I really wanted to pretend that they never happened.

"Starfire?" Friend Raven voice woke me from my daze; I gave her a smile and exited her room, telling her that I finished meditating. Sometimes this smile I put on every day, was merely a façade I wore, I didn't want to worry my friends.

-Common Room-

"Hey Star! Is it OK for you to stay at the tower alone?" Asked friend Robin, Cyborg said that he had to journey to Titans East, Beast-Boy had to assist the 'Patrol of Doom' and Raven had gone to Azarath to visit her mother. And Robin had to travel to Gothem to sort something out with the 'Man of Bats'. _No, don't leave me alone in the tower, I hate being alone…_

"Of course it is OK, I shall be fine friend Robin. Please do not worry; I shall contact you if I should be in need of assistance."

"OK then, bye." I waved goodbye to him, with the usual smile I always bared, I watched him walk away -_Please don't leave_ - but as soon as the door closed, my smile faltered, I realized I was really alone. I hated it. Having nothing better to do, I decided go to my quarters and hopefully have a peaceful slumber…

*Starfire's dream* (Note, she is speaking in her mother tongue 'Tamerainian' so that's why she speaks so much like a normal person.)

"_Mama, why is there so much pretty lights in the sky??_" _A small child tugged at her alarmed mother, looking wide eyed the little girl was curious as to why there was bright explosive__ pyrotechnics__ blasting into the sky.  
_"_Child, go inside the palace with your brother, do not come out unless I tell you._" _her mother ushered her to go inside the palace with her K'norfka, taking her younger brother by the hands…_

"_Galfore, Galfore." The girl once again tugged at her K'norfka's clothes like she did with her mother. "Who are those scaly people outside? Why are they attacking us? Did we do something wrong?" she was so confused, why was everyone so worried? Who where these people? So many questions filled her mind, her K'norfka bent down to meet her with eye level_

"_Child, those monsters are the Gordanians, they are our enemies. We must fight them; although the war is futile."_

"_Gordanians?" she asked confused. She was confused as to why there were so many giant scaly monsters invading her planet, why can't we just live in peace? But she was just a child, she didn't understand._

_----_

"_Sign the treaty and we shall end the battle." The king looked unwilling, but he had no choice._

"_What's a treaty?" asked the young girl's brother_

"_I don't know Ryan'dr, I am most confused myself" suddenly a pair of slimy arms grabbed her and pulled her away from her brother._

"_Ew! No get off me! Where are you taking me, Mama, Papa, what are they doing? Stop them please!" Her screams where futile as the Gordainians pulled her away from her parents, her mother was crying on her fathers shoulder as her father looked away, why wasn't Papa stopping them? Papa was the Grande Ruler, why isn't he doing anything? She saw her little brother run up to her only to be stopped by one of the maids. What did I do wrong? She thought. Why are they taking me? The girl soon found herself thrown onto a ship, she saw her sister in front of her._

"_Komand'r sister, why are we here? Why have they captured us? Did we do something wrong?" her older sister shot her a cold look and ignored her. _

-Starfire-

_I woke up before my dream could go any further. It has been a while since I've had that recollection, it was of the times when I was younger and my home planet Tameran was at a brutal war with Gordainia. And as a peace treaty my sister Blackfire and I were enforced to befall slaves for the Citadel. I remember, those times when I was locked alone in a cold and isolated chamber. That's why I always hated being alone. But they didn't need to know that. _

She always couldn't help but be anxious, whether it is that Gordania may attack Tameran again, or if Gordanians would come and take her back, like she feared when she went back to Tameran only to be betrayed again by her evil hearted sister, and once again almost was taken as another peace offering.

It was coming up to dawn, and as usual Starfire always made her way to the top of the tower, she couldn't sleep, as usual; so she usually passed her time on the roof of the tower, it was usually a place where she could relax and forget everything, just for a while…

"Hey Star." Starfire looked up and saw Robin walking towards her, she smiled.

"Friend Robin, you are back! How was your trip to Gothem? Did your business go well?"

"Yh it was OK, how about you? Were you OK in the tower by yourself? Was there any trouble?"

"No, everything was fine, there was no trouble at all." She turned back to watch the sun rise, Robin looked at her; the sunrays seem to shine off her giving her a luminous glint. She seemed different; there were signs of anxiousness on her face, like she was worrying about something, he could hardly be her best friend if he didn't know what was worrying her.

"Care to tell me what's worrying you?" He suddenly asked, Starfire looked at him surprised.

"Nothing is wrong, everything is wonderful. Do you not think that the morning sun is quite wonderful?" she questioned, Robin looked at her indefinably. She sighed as he looked right into her eyes. "My…story is long."

"I think I have time."

-Robin-

Robin finally understood now, her screams, her nightmares, her smiles, her façades. He never would of thought, she was always so happy, but he never knew that sometimes, even she would have such worries and pain.

_She doesn't deserve to have worries like that; __she deserves to always have that large warm smile plastered to her face – like Beast-Boy. _He thought for a second_. Okay, maybe not __exactly__ like him, but someone like her does deserve to have no worries, she should have the genuine smile she has all the time when she is truely happy..._

_._._._

Starfire was always pretending. At first it was to cover up her past, and then it was to not worry her friends and be the happy one of the team, but mostly, it was because it hurt too much to remember.

**

* * *

**

So how'd you guys find it? This idea was kind of a personal feeling, sometimes I kinda do feel alone. **I'm sure its something that we all do, sometimes you would pretend that your OK when your not...Gah I'm not good at this explaining stuff but I'm sure you guys understand. **

**Anyway, Please review and give me you thoughts. I'm considering doing one for each of the Titans, and a certain emotion of theirs, like how they all are trying to cover-up some kind of emotion or past or something like that. But that depends on if you guys want that.**

**xxPbRxx**


End file.
